journal entry

I had a dream last night about the 2nd coming, not that the second coming was here, but Jeff had told me in my dream, "every day is only one day closer to the second coming, are you ready??" I woke up from my dream thinking, "what if I were to die today, what kingdom would I be judged to go to? would it be the celestial kingdom? what have I done in my life, or right now to allow my entrance?"

so I've been thinking about it since this morning... when I get bored I turn to t.v. which is unfortunate because it really makes me more bored because it really is just a bunch of crap and I feel like I am wasting away... so then I turn to the internet, facebook, and blogging, however today has been really inspiring... Thank you Lisa, Melanie, and Allison your stories, quotes, and videos have inspired me.

I can't believe I'm saying this but, I am so excited to go back to Utah because there we will not be visitors, there we will have our own ward, have callings, have family, have our own apt/house, etc... In the past, moving to different parts of the US have been fun, exciting, and different. This year, after little rock, we have been long-term visitors, and I don't like it. I feel without purpose, and we can't pay our tithing! I hate it!

I know that I must not give up, that I must keep moving forward, and trust in God, trust that he has a plan for us, especially when I cannot see it. In just a few months it isn't going to be just me and Jeff anymore, it will be the three of us (which all in itself is kind of a scary awesome feeling)
I'll be staying in the military which is also a love hate relationship, good because of the health insurance - pay for the baby, but bad because I'll have to leave soon after she/he is born for a week.

I'm grateful for my knowledge in the gospel and for the ability to always learn and grown in the gospel and in my testimony. I am grateful for a wonderful husband who works so hard in sometimes unbearable conditions for our growing family, for a supporting and loving family (both sides), and I am especially grateful for my Savior, for His love and atonement that makes everything better and perfect.